School Patrol

During elementary school, we had a thing instituted called “school patrol” which was a couple of older kids who worked the corner which crossed Main Street. Now, I have a problem with authority at the best of times and this thing, this School Patrol infuriated my tiny angry brain. The thing that made me go mental was that they had the stop sign, they had the high viz and they had the whistles…but they never. Ever. Stopped traffic!! What was the purpose of having all that kit and the power if they weren’t going to use it!

So true to form, I waited at the cross walk a grand total of three times for them to stop cars then lost it. For months, I would simply jay walk across the street half a block from the school patrol and then jay walk across main street from the other side of the road. The school patrol would wave their signs at me and whistle and I just crossed anyway.

This behaviour, of course, landed me in the principles office because apparently after school hours, away from the school was still considered school business! Pffft! The principle asked me if I was disobeying the school patrol. I calmly replied that no, I was not disobeying the school patrol as I wasn’t on their side of the street. The semantics of the situation, me all indignant and confident, must have either amused the principle greatly or he was so worn down by that point he didn’t really case anymore. He, also calmly, informed me that if I continued to disobey the school patrol…and yes, at this point I did interrupt him and say again that I wasn’t on their side of the street…man did I have a big mouth…to which he simply restated that if I continued to disobey the school patrol then I would get detention and lines.

I left his office fuming, grumpy and scheming. I could beat that stupid school patrol, this was personal now! The next day I cut across the street a block early, walked down a block and then crossed main street, believing myself to be too far out of sight to be identified. Full of self praise and smugness I went home and completely forgot about the school patrol…until the next morning when I was glibly informed, in front of the whole class, that I was getting detention and lines that day for disobeying the school patrol. Sigh.

Did I learn? Nope, I just went one street further the next day…more detention. The next day I cut across even earlier and went down three blocks, almost into the town centre. It worked! I was free of the school patrol and it had only cost me an extra 10mins of walking home each day. So glorious, so rebellious, so stupid. Makes me chuckle now how much I went out of my way to get my way. Part of me is still that stubborn and I sometimes catch myself behaving like that ridiculous young man I was. When I do, I shake my head and act like an adult instead. Well, most of the time. Ok, sometimes…